Seriously Deserved

Today I was replying to an email from the man with whom I am currently involved, in which he wrote (leaving out irrelevant context) the following phrase:

"Behind every great man..."

I intended to reply in my typically sarcastic manner:

"Is a seriously disturbed woman"

But my fingers, unbeknownst to me, instead made the decision to type the following:

"Is a seriously deserved woman"

Deserved. Wow. This stopped me in my tracks and really forced me to think. Why have I been berating and belittling myself so incessantly lately? Why do I insist on criticizing myself? Why the self-loathing, the complete lack of faith in myself, the total lack of confidence? What happened to the girl who once believed she was utterly unstoppable, could conquer the world with her endless optimism and positive energy? When did she become an old, cranky, pessimistic, depressed, depressive, and depressing bore, eager to squash the life thriving inside of her?

Unsure if he would understand the true nature of what I had written - and always the control freak - I quickly deleted the phrase that my fingers chose for me, and in their place wrote in response:

"Is a seriously fabulous woman"

And I meant these words. I believe these words. I believe in myself. That unstoppable, fearless girl is still inside. It's up to me and ONLY me to keep her alive and breathing.

New rule: Think positive. Write positive. Express positive. Exude positive. BE POSITIVE, and have faith in yourself and confidence in your own abilities. Because after all, if you don't, how can you expect anyone else to?

- EJ