The sun is shining. Spring has finally arrived. Maybe, just for today, even just for an hour, table all thoughts of dumb boys and work and stress and adulthood and...
(New Rule): Get out and play!
-EJ
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The Four Types of Men…
There are basically 4 types of men, and the reason us women are always, in some way, shape, or form, tortured by them is that we keep confusing which category they fit in.
To simplify my life, here are the 4 categories I have come up with:
1. Mr. Right
2. Mr. Right Now
3. Mr. Now
4. Mr. Wrong
New Rule: Figure out who is in which category, act appropriately and remember not to confuse the categories!
- SR
To simplify my life, here are the 4 categories I have come up with:
1. Mr. Right
2. Mr. Right Now
3. Mr. Now
4. Mr. Wrong
New Rule: Figure out who is in which category, act appropriately and remember not to confuse the categories!
- SR
Monday, April 23, 2007
A New Rule to Effect Immediately...
How many times have you heard a friend say the following:
“………I just don’t get him! He said he would he would (be there, do that) but he didn’t!! I feel like his work/family/hobby/whatever always gets priority over me…I just don’t get it. I don’t understand him. He said X but he did Y……”
As I sat and listened to yet another friend say pretty much the same thing yet again, I realized….she was not tuned in to HIM; She was only tuned in to what SHE wanted.
In relationships particularly, you can wish, hope and want a million things that won’t happen and then time and again get frustrated and likely exclaim, “I just don’t get him!!” The problem is….he is showing you who he really is, and unfortunately, you refuse to believe him because you just want to hold on to your idea of who you want him to be.
New Rule: People always SHOW you who they are. Believe them!!! Or, proceed at your own risk, and prepare for heartache.
PS: This New Rule applies to ALL relationships, regardless of gender, race, religion etc..
- SR
“………I just don’t get him! He said he would he would (be there, do that) but he didn’t!! I feel like his work/family/hobby/whatever always gets priority over me…I just don’t get it. I don’t understand him. He said X but he did Y……”
As I sat and listened to yet another friend say pretty much the same thing yet again, I realized….she was not tuned in to HIM; She was only tuned in to what SHE wanted.
In relationships particularly, you can wish, hope and want a million things that won’t happen and then time and again get frustrated and likely exclaim, “I just don’t get him!!” The problem is….he is showing you who he really is, and unfortunately, you refuse to believe him because you just want to hold on to your idea of who you want him to be.
New Rule: People always SHOW you who they are. Believe them!!! Or, proceed at your own risk, and prepare for heartache.
PS: This New Rule applies to ALL relationships, regardless of gender, race, religion etc..
- SR
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Lessons from an Ex....
I was thinking about an ex today. It’s not that I was missing him or anything….getting rid of that fool was the best thing to happen to me. But what I was thinking was this: Mr. X is an intelligent and extremely successful man. But, in spite of his wealth, and his material success, he was unhappy. He once admitted to me that at times he was so depressed that he could not get out of bed, or function. He lived in a great house and had achieved incredible financial success. But he was basically a lonely, miserable and unhappy person.
And I learned a valuable lesson: You never know what’s going on inside people’s heads and their lives. To the outside world he seemed like this super successful guy who had it all…but the reality was that he was an empty person who had no one to share his success and his hope and fears with. What he portrayed and who he really was were two very different things.
There is a saying in a foreign language: The teeth that an elephant shows to the world aren’t those that he eats with.
New Rule: People aren’t always what they seem to be, and you can’t judge your insides with other people’s outsides.
- SR
And I learned a valuable lesson: You never know what’s going on inside people’s heads and their lives. To the outside world he seemed like this super successful guy who had it all…but the reality was that he was an empty person who had no one to share his success and his hope and fears with. What he portrayed and who he really was were two very different things.
There is a saying in a foreign language: The teeth that an elephant shows to the world aren’t those that he eats with.
New Rule: People aren’t always what they seem to be, and you can’t judge your insides with other people’s outsides.
- SR
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Poison
So, there is this guy (isn't there always?). Last time you two tried to be together, it was an utter disaster. You couldn't even speak without getting into some stupid disagreement about peoples' behavior, who was right or wrong, etc. His actions - or lack thereof - made you crazy. You spent more time being disappointed by him than enjoying his company.
Then there was the sex. You slept with him on your second encounter. It wasn't even a date. He just stopped by to say hello. And things got weird, and you started to argue, and all of sudden you became that dumb teenager who sleeps with the guy out of fear that he will leave or won't like you... and because quite frankly it was the only way to keep you two from arguing. Afterward you felt awkward and foolish and somewhat ashamed. After all, you a are a thirty-something, confident woman. And against your better judgement you just got "pressured" into having sex. You knew you weren't ready, you barely know this guy. And the fact that his version of post-coital romance involved running out the door more quickly than he actually 'came' proves that you should have followed your instincts... Which have long been telling you that he is kind of an asshole. And the fact that you are still talking to him now, hoping he will call, wanting him to want you... well, that makes you an even BIGGER asshole.
New rule: Grow up. Get smart. You can and desperately need to learn. You deserve a man that makes you feel good, and you KNOW this. The sex isn't even that great, for goodness sake! Stop holding on to something that is so totally bad for you. If you really insist on poisoning yourself like this, you would be better off chain-smoking or diving into a bottle of vodka. Seriously.
Oh, and if you are feeling “pressured” into having sex past the age of 30, there is a serious problem to contend with...
-EJ
Then there was the sex. You slept with him on your second encounter. It wasn't even a date. He just stopped by to say hello. And things got weird, and you started to argue, and all of sudden you became that dumb teenager who sleeps with the guy out of fear that he will leave or won't like you... and because quite frankly it was the only way to keep you two from arguing. Afterward you felt awkward and foolish and somewhat ashamed. After all, you a are a thirty-something, confident woman. And against your better judgement you just got "pressured" into having sex. You knew you weren't ready, you barely know this guy. And the fact that his version of post-coital romance involved running out the door more quickly than he actually 'came' proves that you should have followed your instincts... Which have long been telling you that he is kind of an asshole. And the fact that you are still talking to him now, hoping he will call, wanting him to want you... well, that makes you an even BIGGER asshole.
New rule: Grow up. Get smart. You can and desperately need to learn. You deserve a man that makes you feel good, and you KNOW this. The sex isn't even that great, for goodness sake! Stop holding on to something that is so totally bad for you. If you really insist on poisoning yourself like this, you would be better off chain-smoking or diving into a bottle of vodka. Seriously.
Oh, and if you are feeling “pressured” into having sex past the age of 30, there is a serious problem to contend with...
-EJ
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Look at the Now....
Ever been in a relationship where you think: ”….oh, if only XYZ happened, then we would be fine”? XYZ could be anything…if only he had a new job, if only I lost 10 lbs, if only we could spend more time together……blah, blah. Women do this all the time. Men don’t (in relationships) and maybe they’re on to something. I’ve never heard a man say…”if only she lost 30 lbs, she’s be super hot!”…they just move on if something is not right for them. They don't stick around 'hoping' for something to change. If it's not right for them, it's not right for them. End of story.
New Rule: Evaluate people and situations on how they are at the present, not what you think their 'potential' is.
-SR
New Rule: Evaluate people and situations on how they are at the present, not what you think their 'potential' is.
-SR
Monday, April 9, 2007
Lessons from 2nd Grade....
I was in the car with my niece yesterday and she was telling me about things that she is learning in school. At one point she said to me "....when someone asks you your name and where you live, and you are not sure if he is a good person, you should just make up a name….and don’t tell a stranger where you live…..”. And it occurred to me…the same applies in the real world!
New Rule: If you’re at a bar/restaurant/coffee shop/park/wherever and are approached by a stranger you’re not quite sure about….there is no law that says you need to give your real name and number!
-SR
New Rule: If you’re at a bar/restaurant/coffee shop/park/wherever and are approached by a stranger you’re not quite sure about….there is no law that says you need to give your real name and number!
-SR
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Get Human
Once again do you find yourself screaming "help!" or "agent!" or "not that's not what I said!" at those incredibly annoying, voice-activated customer service prompters?
New rule: Calm down! The computer can't hear you. Instead of shouting, make your life easier by going to www.gethuman.com, a Website that reveals the "secret" for reaching an actual human being for hundreds of companies and phone numbers. It's brilliant!
-EJ
New rule: Calm down! The computer can't hear you. Instead of shouting, make your life easier by going to www.gethuman.com, a Website that reveals the "secret" for reaching an actual human being for hundreds of companies and phone numbers. It's brilliant!
-EJ
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Put the mask on yourself first
2006 was an incredibly hard year for me, and 2007 so far has continued the trend. It's been a most challenging period, but also one of phenomenal personal growth for me.
You know when in planes they talk about what to do if the plane were to go down....they always say "put the oxygen mask on yourself first" and then tend to others. Life works the same way, and there are instances where you and the people around you are going to go down.
New Rule: Put the mask on yourself first. Help yourself so that you can help others. A fucked-up you is a useless you. It's important to step back, gain some perspective and give yourself whatever you need so that you can help those around you.
Readers: We started this blog today, and we invite you to share your insights and New Rules with us.
- SR
You know when in planes they talk about what to do if the plane were to go down....they always say "put the oxygen mask on yourself first" and then tend to others. Life works the same way, and there are instances where you and the people around you are going to go down.
New Rule: Put the mask on yourself first. Help yourself so that you can help others. A fucked-up you is a useless you. It's important to step back, gain some perspective and give yourself whatever you need so that you can help those around you.
Readers: We started this blog today, and we invite you to share your insights and New Rules with us.
- SR
Too close for comfort
When you feel like you have become the women on Sex and The City, when you realize you have the same dating horror stories, the same sexual encounters, the same New York challenges, the same (less expensive version of) high-heeled shoes... When your life is quite literally Sex and the City without the glamour, and you find yourself exclaiming at each new episode "oh my god that happened to me!" (and it’s usually not one of the more tasteful or attractive moments in the girls’ lives)...
New Rule: It's either time to leave New York, or time to turn off the damn television.
-EJ
New Rule: It's either time to leave New York, or time to turn off the damn television.
-EJ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)