Self-awareness is one of the most difficult and painful experiences. I realized something about myself today. Whenever I meet a new boy, I automatically think, “He’s the one! He’s perfect!” Mind you, this is usually about 6 weeks before I actually realize that he is so NOT the one and he is so NOT perfect.
Why is it that the minute you have some semblance of a connection with someone, you seem to lose total control of your senses, and your brain suddenly goes on hiatus?? I was going down the same road today when I had to put on the brakes and remind myself: I barely knew this guy! I needed a reality check. I needed to stop obsessing! I needed to stop focusing on only one person, and closing myself to the possibility of others. I hold on tightly to the first thing that meets my standards and don’t even consider the possibility of exploring other avenues. This is something I am seriously guilty of. And not just in relationships. I have a comfortable experience and I don’t even want to consider any new possibilities b/c they are new, uncertain and fraught with anxiety. This is one of the reasons, to some extent, that I am also where I am in my career today.
So, armed with this new knowledge, today I have decided to make a conscious attempt to break out of old habits and not be afraid of trying new things, and meet new people, no matter how scared I am.
New Rule: Get out of your own way! Recognize the patterns in your life, and if they don’t work for you, break them.
- SR
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