Shoulda Woulda Coulda

New Rule: There are no "shoulds" or "ought to's" or "have to's" in life...

I need to keep telling myself this over and over. You see, the formerly mentioned Prince is still in the picture. He has since turned into Prince Charming. He adores, worships, loves me - in the way I always dreamed of being adored, worshipped and loved by a man. He has literally and figuratively swept me off my feet... in the way I always dreamed of as a child, as a young adult, as a woman awaiting the fairy tale to come true. And now it has come true. Prince Charming has ridden into my life (minus white horse and sword) and is ready to sweep me away and make me his forever.

But I am a single gal in New York. I have been single for a long time. I actually LIKE being on my own, independent, with all the space I need to breathe. Excuse the comparison but I sometimes feel like Carrie Bradshaw (from Sex and the City) personified. Only without the fabulous wardrobe and perfect body. I don't think I am ready for being swept away just yet. In fact I KNOW I am not ready.

I keep telling myself that I should fall for this guy as hard as he has fallen for me. That I should embrace his love and accept him into my life without reservation. That I should seriously consider spending the rest of my life with him. What am I waiting for, after all? Isn't THIS what I have been waiting for?

But I have to learn to accept that - considering who I am and what's most important to me - that maybe we will end up together... but maybe we won't. It's too soon to say, plain and simple. Just because he is so great, doesn't mean I have to make a life with this man, right? There are no Shoulds. There are no Ought To's. There are no Have To's. I only "have to" do what feels right, when it feels right. I will know what to do when the time comes. And until then...

...There are no Shoulds.

-EJ