So, there is this guy (isn't there always?). Last time you two tried to be together, it was an utter disaster. You couldn't even speak without getting into some stupid disagreement about peoples' behavior, who was right or wrong, etc. His actions - or lack thereof - made you crazy. You spent more time being disappointed by him than enjoying his company.
Then there was the sex. You slept with him on your second encounter. It wasn't even a date. He just stopped by to say hello. And things got weird, and you started to argue, and all of sudden you became that dumb teenager who sleeps with the guy out of fear that he will leave or won't like you... and because quite frankly it was the only way to keep you two from arguing. Afterward you felt awkward and foolish and somewhat ashamed. After all, you a are a thirty-something, confident woman. And against your better judgement you just got "pressured" into having sex. You knew you weren't ready, you barely know this guy. And the fact that his version of post-coital romance involved running out the door more quickly than he actually 'came' proves that you should have followed your instincts... Which have long been telling you that he is kind of an asshole. And the fact that you are still talking to him now, hoping he will call, wanting him to want you... well, that makes you an even BIGGER asshole.
New rule: Grow up. Get smart. You can and desperately need to learn. You deserve a man that makes you feel good, and you KNOW this. The sex isn't even that great, for goodness sake! Stop holding on to something that is so totally bad for you. If you really insist on poisoning yourself like this, you would be better off chain-smoking or diving into a bottle of vodka. Seriously.
Oh, and if you are feeling “pressured” into having sex past the age of 30, there is a serious problem to contend with...
-EJ
3 comments:
Been there, done that. I was in a very similar situation except that we were dating for a while, but i always felt that something was not right... but i stayed b/c the whole 'package'...what he would add to my life.. seemed like a good deal/trade off at the time.
Fact is...things don't get better, they just get worse, and what's really damaging is that YOU feel like an idiot once it's all done and over with. When i finally woke up, i was like WHY did i stay with him when all he brought to my life was stress, tears and anxiety. (Only good thing was that i lost like 15 lbs..hahah!).
I like this New Rule. I second it. We ALL should have a significant other who makes us feel good, and who feeds our soul.
thanks for the comment. fool me once, fool me twice... how many times will i get fooled by this guy? two nights in a row now he says he will call, he wants to see me, blah blah blah... and no phone call. either night.
fool me too many times. shame on me. this is so over.
-ej
SO TRUE: ´You deserve a man that makes you feel good, and you KNOW this. The sex isn't even that great, for goodness sake!´
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